I want to remind you that you are allowed to feel. You are not too much. You are not a burden.
Although we should be mindful about the way we are lashing out at others in the midst of our venting, we should not be apologising for feeling the way that we feel. We should apologise if we did hurt someone in the process, but we should not be apologizing for the emotions that we feel.
You felt what you felt, and that pain is real. It doesn’t matter if it’s something that has been around for years, months, or days. You are allowed to say that you feel a certain way, regardless of whether others think you should be over it by now.
Of course, this does not mean we can simply say whatever the hell we want despite it affecting others in a negative light. Although we talk about the message of putting yourself first sometimes, we shouldn’t be stepping on others to get there.
But darling, you need to step up for yourself sometimes. Sometimes, you need to stop making excuses for other people and stop putting their wellbeing always before yours. Yes, you might want to keep the peace. Yes, maybe in retrospect they are going through things that are worse. But does this all mean that you are the one that needs to bury your own feelings all the time? Are you not allowed to feel anything at all?
You are going through or was going through something, and that is completely okay. It is completely okay if you need the distance. It is completely okay if you need to step back from the situation for a while and take the time to heal. It is completely okay to show that you are not okay when you are clearly not.
Please don’t be too hard on yourself. There are so many of us struggling to hold up happy-go-lucky facades despite the turmoil that is within our minds. Darling, you are allowed to feel. Feel all of it, even those unbidden. Know that your vulnerability not only strengthens you, but it is also able to strengthen others.
You are allowed to say if something hurts you. You are allowed to say that you are not feeling your very best. You are allowed to say you need time to heal. You are allowed to say that you are getting there. You are allowed to cry and still be hurting. You are allowed to let your heart bleed through your art.
Darling, you are allowed to feel all of it. As heavy and as directionless as it all seems, I hope you know that no darkness and no season lasts forever. You are allowed to feel all of it, and you will heal from all these. No matter who you are or where you are from, I hope my love reaches you.