Relaxation

“Let go of the need to control the outcome. Trust the process. Trust your intuition. Trust yourself.” ~Unknown I was talking with a friend one day at work, and we were discussing dating and the rejection that comes with that and the sense of failure and disappointment. We were talking about how we struggle to

“I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.” ~John Burroughs I sat on the front stoop sobbing, unable to move. Hunched over like a heaving dog hugging my knees and clutching a wad of decomposing tissues. About fifteen minutes before, I’d managed to get myself off

“Simple living doesn’t solve all my problems, it just removes distractions.” ~Melissa Camara Wilkins At times it’s felt like my phone was my only access to the outside world. A place to connect in the middle of the night. The means to stay in touch with friends and family on the other side of the

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.” ~Hemingway We all know of post-traumatic stress (PTS) but how many of us know of post-traumatic growth (PTG), a very hopeful and attainable way of life beyond the loss, adversity, and trauma we’ve experienced? It’s a term that was coined in the

“You don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough. When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don’t have to internalize that. Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you—it’s something inherent.” ~Danielle Koepke

I grew up in a family of high-functioning addicts. We looked like the perfect family, but as we all know, looks can be deceiving. No one was addicted to drugs, so that obviously meant that we had no problems. Cigarettes, alcohol, food, and work don’t count, right? I have come to realize that what we

“Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.” ~Unknown When I first experienced narcissistic abuse as an adult, it was a at a time when the term “narcissistic abuse” was not so heard of or understood. I had met a handsome, intelligent, charismatic, and charming

In a world with billions of people, in a culture that promotes being special and making a big mark, it’s easy to feel like you don’t matter. Maybe you’ve felt it all your life—like you have no purpose, no value, and nothing to contribute to anyone around you. Maybe you feel it off and on,

I love the holidays. I eagerly anticipate the first snowfall, adore the scent of pine, and watch It’s A Wonderful Life every year without fail. That said, even the merriest among us know that the holidays can be emotionally, physically, and psychologically taxing. In addition to buying gifts, negotiating travel plans, and shuttling from gathering

“Being willing to accept responsibility for the situation you’re in is the first step to a more fulfilling love life.” ~Renée Suzanne Remember the haunting ballad “Foolish Games” by Jewel? Jewel wrote the song when she was sixteen. She kept a serious journal, and said in an interview that a verse in the song was

“Sometimes pain is the teacher we require, a hidden gift of healing and hope.” ~Janet Jackson I was becoming more and more confused as to what my feelings were toward my husband. Longing for that personal adult male connection, I started to feel trapped in my marriage. However, I still had a very strong sense

“Those who suffer from mental illness are stronger than you think. We must fight to go to work, care for our families, be there for our friends, and act ‘normal’ while battling unimaginable pain.” ~Unknown It’s strange having a panic attack while surrounded by people. I’m experiencing something so private and so personal, but unless

*This post contains a giveaway. If you’re reading this in your inbox, click here to participate on the site! We all know that we should be grateful. It’s right up there on the list of things we’re supposed to do regularly with get enough sleep and floss our teeth. But we don’t always prioritize the

“In time and with water, everything changes.” ~Leonardo da Vinci This is a story about our past and progress. It’s about holding on and letting go, moving forward by moving inward, and time. And like any good story, it’s a love story in the end. I’m talking about the kind of love that eases suffering

“The price of our vitality is the sum of all of our fears.” ~David Whyte  Acceptance by its very nature is imperfect; it’s messy and often unpleasant, while ultimately leading to a place of growth, a sense of freedom, and a life familiar with ease. I know this because I have had a lot of

“You weren’t built to be calm, cool, and collected all the time. If you were, it wouldn’t feel so exhausting.”~Ryan O’Connell  There’s a lot of talk nowadays about “highly sensitive people” and “empaths.” It can be difficult for people who don’t relate to these labels to understand, or even believe what more sensitive folks experience.

“I wonder how much of what weighs me down is not mine to carry.” ~Aditi My dad once told me about his early experiences with my mother’s parents. He shared that he knew right from the start that there was something extremely off with them. They were an elderly couple who would constantly curse at

“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.” ~Christine Caine The phrase “personal growth” has always felt counterintuitive to me. Personal growth feels less like growth and more like stripping away—of peeling back the expectations, fears, and shame that we’ve been conditioned with since birth. Beneath

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” ~Henry Ford Self-doubt is a killer. It may start off quietly in the back of your mind when you’re a kid. You may not even notice its presence, but if you let it, it can keep growing bigger and bigger like a balloon

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.” ~Douglas Adams The Buddha famously said that

“Just because you’re not doing what other people are doing, that doesn’t mean you’re failing or falling behind. You’re charting your own course and staying true to yourself, even though it would be easier to join the crowd. You’re creating a life you can fall in love with instead of falling in line. You’re finding

“Boundaries aren’t about punishing. Boundaries are about creating safety for yourself.” ~Sheri Keffer The person sitting beside you at the bar keeps talking to you despite your obvious disinterest. The flirty Uber driver mentions—three times—how beautiful you are. Your cousin’s new boyfriend gives you a too-long hug with wandering hands. In awkward situations with strangers, we

“I am not fully healed, I am not fully wise, I am still on my way. What matters is that I am moving forward.” ~Yung Pueblo According to Dr. John Gottman, PhD, successful repair attempts are a “happy couple’s secret weapon.” An attempt to repair is when our partner makes a mistake and then makes

“Neurologists claim that every time you resist acting on your anger, you’re actually rewiring your brain to be calmer and more loving.” ~Unknown One of the most impactful ways that mindfulness has changed my life is how I’m able to work with my feelings of anger. Anyone who has met me in recent years would

“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh There is so much noise and overwhelm these days it’s almost impossible to not feel crippling anxiety on a regular basis. With a march of commitments, appointments, and obligations that never seem to end, we’re

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits—anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving,” ~Kim McMillen I started learning about self-love a long time ago. In fact, I started learning about self-love so long

“Never put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.” ~Unknown About ten years ago I made the mistake of re-reading my journal from high school. Wow, was I ever a miserable, slightly unstable person. I dated the same (great) guy for three years, but looking back over my handwritten confessions, you would have

“Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, and don’t put up with people that are reckless with yours.” ~Mary Schmich After Mom passed away two years ago, I returned home to take care of the remnants of her earthly life. Clothes and shoes, books with her notes in the margins, old cookware and medication leftovers.

“Emotional pain cannot kill you, but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel. Let yourself heal.” ~Vironika Tugaleva Ah, therapy, my old friend. We meet again. I really thought I’d released you from my life; that I no longer needed your help to maintain my sanity. Boy, was I wrong. Third time’s a

“No thought has any power. You have power. And when you identify and believe in the thought, you give power to the thought.” ~Mooji It was 2004. I was on day three of a six-month meditation retreat, and my restless and turbulent mind was driving me nuts. The prospect of sitting on this wretched cushion